And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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