Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
