the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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