When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The best revenge is premature balding
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
