Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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