he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
