before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
