his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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