SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
