I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
