You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize