; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
