Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
