that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
