Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
