i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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