call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
