Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
