he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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