you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Randomize
