If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
