it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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