hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
