I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
