David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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