It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
