Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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