Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
