Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
