I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He did a backflip because drugs
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
