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6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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