well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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