and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
