the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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