It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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