I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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