So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
