dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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