When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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