i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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