btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Acid is not a monday night drug
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
