He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
