This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
