I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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