If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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