soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
