I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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