Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
someone get that fucking seahorse.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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