Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
