i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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