Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize