Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
