So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
