The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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