He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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