My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
