The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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