He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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