Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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