I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He told me they were just razor bumps!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
