I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish you could order shots online.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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