I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize