Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
one two three fourrrrnication!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
