I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize